By Nadja Lee
English is not my
native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.
Disclaimer: “Star trek” and all the characters here belong to Gene Roddenberry, Paramount and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.
Only
the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author.
Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of
the author.
Timeline:
During the first 5 year mission
Universe: ST: TOS.
Pairing: Spock/OFC
Summary:
Kirk and Spock saves a young woman and Spock seems to (logically, of course)
like her. But then disaster strike...
Archiving:
Want, ASK, take, have.
Feedback: Yes, please.
My e-mail address is neh@post10.tele.dk.
Rating: PG-13
Series: None
Warnings: A very old
fic, written very quickly. One of my first fics ever. Be warned!
Things written *here*
are telepathically said in the mind.
* * *
Kirk and Spock went around on the planet Tretius 3, a planet that they
should investigate for the Federation. The planet was a member of the
Federation but all contact had creased months ago and now Spock and Kirk could
confirm their suspicions as to why. The Klingon Empire had taken over the
planet. The planet was on a statistically imported place, on the border between
the Klingon Empire and the Federation and the planet was rich on minerals. The
Enterprise should only observe and them tell Starfleet what they found. From
the data they gathered Starfleet would then decide what to do. The Enterprise
was ordered to continue on their mission after they were finished on the
planet. Tretius 3 was M- on the Richter scale of culture over planets. This
meant that the planet resembled Earth in the sixteenth century and the
inhabitants looked like the people of Earth. This resulted as always in Spock
having to hide the obvious signs of being half Vulcan under a hat.
Kirk and Spock went to the Capital City. There in the middle of the
square some Klingons were about to read a verdict over a young woman. She had
pointed ears and eyebrows like a Vulcan but her skin was the colour of a
Klingon. She was beautiful to look at with the evening suns, this planet had 4
suns, playing in her red hair and shinning in her green eyes. She did not
appear frightened when the Klingons said that the penalty was death for
disobedience. She was dressed in a long dress, plain but clean and she appeared
unharmed. The axe and execution block before her spoke of how her sentence was
to be carried out. Spock immediately looked after Kirk, as he knew how he
always reacted when beautiful defenceless women were involved. And yes, in that
moment Kirk yelled for them to stop and a fight broke out. With a wordless sigh
Spock went into the fight after his captain and friend. Kirk reached the girl
and they were on their way to Spock, who was fighting against five Klingons.
Having reached him Kirk told the woman to stand back while he helped Spock
defeat them. That done Kirk called the ship to get the three of them beamed up
just as more Klingons came towards them. A Klingon pointed his weapon at Kirk.
Kirk did not see it but as the Klingon fried the weapon Spock heard it and
called Jim's name while he pushed him out of harms way. The blast caught Spock
in the shoulder. With a shocked expression Kirk worried bent over his friend.
With the woman’s help he managed to hold him up and they supported him between
them as Jim told Scotty to beam them up.
The next day, Enterprise:
“How is he, Bones?” Jim asked his CMO, concern clear in his voice and
face. He had come to sickbay as soon as he could be spared from the bridge. Now
Jim cast worried looks at Spock who lay in bed before him, the young woman lay
in the bed beside his.
“He should wake up anytime now, Jim. His healing trance is complete.
He’s just sleeping now,” with a look at his concerned friend he added more
softly, “do not worry. But tell me what happen down there?” his voice was
curious. “With Spock injured and all I did not get a chance to ask.”
Kirk looked a little uncomfortable as he started to explain, knowing
that his orders hadn’t given him right to intervene on the woman’s behalf.
“Well, you see… There was this woman and….” Bones nodded knowingly and
interrupted him with a smile.
“Ah, I knew it. I knew it had something to do with a woman. It should
not happen to be the extraordinary young lady over there, now should it?” Bones
asked and pointed at the young lady in the bed.
“Yes, it was she. She was about to be killed by the Kingons but we got her
free. However as we were about to beam up a Klingon was shooting at me. Spock
took the shoot meant for me,” Jim said honestly, gratitude, worry and a hint of
anger over Spock’s sacrifice evident in his voice.
“I see, ”McCoy nodded in understanding. It really did not surprise him.
Jim was many things but he was above all a gentleman who could never help but
to save every defenceless woman or in fact defenceless creature he came across.
It was just the way he was and it was what made him an extraordinary captain.
Neither did Spock’s sacrifice surprise him. Spock had often saved Jim's life
over the years just as Kirk had saved his. It was as if there was a special and
unbreakable bond between the two of them. His thoughts were disturbed when
Spock turned around and opens his eyes. A moment he looked confused. Then his
eyes found McCoy.
“It Jim ok?” he asked quietly and sounded worried.
“I am fine. Do not worry, ” Jim calmed him and stood forth so Spock
could see that he was indeed ok. He smiled warmly at his friend, “and thanks,”
he said sincerely, saving his speech about how Spock shouldn’t risk his life
for his in that way for another time.
Spock nodded gracefully and looked like he was fully recovered. He stood
up and went to the other room to get dressed. When he came out McCoy and Jim
was talking to the woman. She said that her name was Elina and that she was
half-Vulcan and half-Klingon. Something in her eyes and voice touched a place
deep within Spock. A flame that he had thought dead suddenly got new life. It
was rare that Vulcans mated outside their spicies, even if, as Spock suspected,
it wasn’t on purpose. He was pretty sure Elina’s mother had been raped and she
was the result. Her life couldn’t have been easy and it gave Spock hope that
maybe he had finally found someone who could understand how difficult it was to
stand with a leg in two so very different cultures as Vulcan and Earth or
Klingon and Earth. When it was discussed where their extra passenger should
sleep and where she would be safe, as many people onboard had no love for
Klingons and many had lost loved ones to Klingon raids.
May I come with a suggestion?”
Spock interrupted. His heart was beating so hard in his chest that he feared
that Jim and McCoy would hear it. He tied hard to look as passive as possible.
McCoy and Jim looked surprised at him but then Jim nodded at him to continue.
“My quarters are large enough to hold two people and it has a spare bed.
The temperature in my quarters should further more suit Miss Elina since she is
half Vulcan. Finally I doubt that anyone will try to harm her when she is under
my protection,” Spock said and hoped that it sounded logical because logic was
why he asked…right?
“I don’t know. What do you say, Miss Elina?” Jim asked with a smile on
his lips and a teasing gleam in his eyes.
“I would love to stay in your room, Spock,” she said softly and looked
lovely and adoring up at him, making Bones and Jim strangle their smiles. Spock
was probably the kindest Vulcan she had ever met, pushing all her buttons
towards hero worship.
“Good. Then that's stetted, ” Kirk said satisfied.
“Now Spock, was that entirely logical?” McCoy began to ask him teasing
but before McCoy could get any further Spock left for the bridge. Kirk shrugged
his shoulders as answer to McCoy’s unspoken question and followed his first
officer to the bridge.
“He is wonderful, ” Elina said dreamily, having obviously not been
raised with as much emotional control as the object of her affection. McCoy knew exactly who it was she was talking
about and frowned slightly in concern.
“I would be more careful with my emotions if I were you. Even though
Spock is half human he was unlike you raised on Vulcan, as a Vulcan and has
full control over his emotions,” McCoy warned her but he wasn’t 100% certain if
his assessment was true. Had Spock really his emotions under control always?
McCoy thought. Could Spock be falling in love with Elina? Well, it was not
impossible. Spock was after all half human and he had falling head over heels
in love with the beautiful Zarabeth in only a few hours, so...
4 weeks later:
Now there was no doubt whatsoever that Spock and Elina was falling in
love. They were always together and every time they looked into each other’s
eyes they seemed to get lost in them. Of course Spock denied being in love as
it was a human (or Klingon) emotion and to Spock’s credit must be said that it
was also only Jim and McCoy who could see it. He was very much like his father,
Sarek, in his love but Jim and McCoy knew him well enough to catch the small
signs.
Kirk’s thoughts were disturbed when Spock asked if he could enter Kirk’s
quarters They were both of duty and Kirk and thought that he actually from time
to time missed spending time with Spock who lately had spent most of his time
with Elina. Kirk said Spock could just enter and Spock did so and seated
himself opposite Kirk.
“Captain, I have some shore leave left. I will like to use those months
now. We will past Vulcan in two Earth days. Could you leave Elina and me
there?” Spock asked, his eyes telling Jim this was an important request but his
face was impassive.
“Of course” Jim readily agreed but looked more worried than surprised at
his friend. Something was wrong. He could see it in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
Jim asked him gently.
“I do not know what...” Spock began to deny but stopped when he looked
into Kirk’s eyes and saw the genuine concern and love for him in them. Spock
sighed softly, almost too still to be heard. “She is dying,” he admitted
quietly, strangling all his emotions about the subject, keeping them buried
inside. Jim looked shocked at him. “She is dyeing from Xenies,” at Jim’s
confused look Spock elaborated, “It’s a rare decease but due to her unique DNA
structure it’s deathly and incurable. She has known she was dying from it since
birth. She knows her time is near,” he forestalled Kirk’s next question as he
added, “I have already had Dr. McCoy and Starfleet’s medical team look at it.”
Having told this much Jim could see Spock’s control fading and thus the pain in
his eyes became visible and he could hear despair in his voice.
“I am sorry, ” Jim said, his voice sympatric and he wished there were
anything he could do. Something better he would offer than just words. He knew
well the pain that losing a loved one brought. He had lost his father, his
brother, countless friends not to mention lovers and of course one of his
greatest losses had been his wife, Miramanee, and their unborn child.
“Just get us to Vulcan, ” Spock said quietly and answered Jim's unsaid
question. Spock got up from the chair and for a moment he looked like a very
old man who carried all the pain of the world in his heart. Then he found his
control again. He put an arm on Jim's shoulder.
“Thank you.” The words were soft and warm and the gesture of both touch
and words made Jim know just how deeply this was affecting his friend. Before
Jim could reply Spock had left his room and Jim looked after him long after the
door had closed. Despite Spock’s assurance Jim still wished he could do
something, anything to ease Spock’s pain. He was happy and sad at the same time
over the joy and pain Spock was experiencing. After all that pain Spock had
felt through his life he deserved some happiness. Jim was secretly pleased that
despite what he had had to go through then he could still be fascinated by the
small things, and be secretly happy for the small words and sacrifices. He was
always ready to make excuses for his captain no matter how obvious it was that
he had been mistaken. Always ready to help and heal. And still he could not
find the courage to be himself. Everybody wanted for him to choose. Always
choose. Never just accept him as he was and what he could give. Well, everyone
expect Jim…and Elina who seemed infatuated with Spock as a young girl who be
over meeting her idol. Jim wasn’t by far certain their relationship could have
lasted but now…now it would last forever because like many of his own loves
then she would die before any crises had time to disturb the image of paradise.
2 days later:
Standing on one of the biggest mountains on Vulcan, Elina and Spock saw
the Enterprise disappear between the clouds. Spock had a cabin up here and
there were no one else around for miles. No one would know how they had chosen
to spend their last days. The cabin lay by a small lake, one of the few lakes
on Vulcan, and with the sun shinning and a light wind playing with the grass
that grew around it, it was like a picture from a book. Spock had told Elina
that he often came up here when he was on Vulcan to be alone and because here
he could be himself. Here there was no one to tell him what he could or could
not do. After a small hesitation he took Elina’s hand and they walked hand in
hand to the cabin.
* * *
Later that day Elina was in the kitchen preparing dinner for them “Will
you go get some more of these berries, beloved?” she asked Spock, pointing at
the bowl of berries that stood closer to him than her as she went around doing
this and that to get the meal right. She had always ate meat but since Spock
did not she was preparing vegetarian meals for them. Spock's heart filled with
love as he saw her. He could sit and just watch her for hours which was what he
had been doing from the living room, pretending to read while in reality he had
been watching her through the door to the kitchen.
“Spock?” she asked and raised an eyebrow questioningly and looked at
him.
“Of course.” he tore himself out of his daydream and helped her with the
meal.
After dinner they sat in the living room. Elina seated herself beside
Spock on the sofa and went into his embrace. He stroked her over the hair and
held her close.
“I love you, ” she said warmly. Spock nodded, his throat tight with
repressed emotions. He could still not say it. That Elina accepted this only
made him love her even more. He took a decision, knowing it was the right one.
He gently eased her out of his embrace so she sat on the sofa alone while he
went down on one knee in front of her and took her hands in his, choosing the
human way to propose to her since the Vulcan way seemed too cold for a woman as
passionate as Elina. When he looked into her eyes that shinned with warmth,
love and a hint of hero worship he knew for the first time in his life what
those words really meant.
“Will you marry me?” Spock asked her and in that moment he was more
nervous that he had ever been. He did not know what he would do if she said no.
One woman had already scorned him. He wasn’t sure what he would do if Elina,
who he actually cared for, would do the same. Her face and eyes light up but confusion
clouded her happiness.
“But marriage between an officer of the line and a member of the Klingon
Empire isn’t allowed, ” Elina protested though her eyes and face shinned with
happiness.
“I meant if you would bond with me. That would make us husband and wife
under Vulcan law but no one will know. And no one will ever know if that is
your wish, ” Spock said seriously and looked her in the eyes. He could get lost
in those green deeps of love.
“That is my wish, ” she said knowing that Spock could be put at a court
martial for marrying her. Then she smiled warmly and said, “and yes, there is
nothing in this galaxy or beyond that I would rather do than marry you.” Her
happiness was like a living thing in the room as she put her arms around his
neck. Spock actually smiled and kissed her deeply on the lips. As the kiss
deepened and the flame of passion began to burn with the intensity of a fire he
lifted her up and carried her into their bedroom to join them in mind and body,
making them husband and wife.
2 and a half months later:
*I love you so much,* Spock's telepathic voice sounded in her mind,
filled with love and warmth. She smiled weakly at him. Since their bonding
Spock had said it repeatedly though their link. They had had almost three
wonderful months filled with happiness and love. None of them had wanted to
think about tomorrow. But now they could no longer forget reality in the arms
of love. Elina lay on their bed and knew that she had seen the sun rise for the
last time. Despite having prepared for death her entire life it now more than
ever seemed to come too soon. Her only comfort was that her illness had been
painless. She knew that it was Spock’s doing. Though their link he had taken
her pain from her and made it his own. Having lived on Vulcan he had the
discipline of mind to suppress pain at a level she couldn’t do. She was
grateful to him for having shown her what love was. For the first, only and
last time she had given and received unconditional love. She smiled sadly at
Spock who stood by her bedside and fanatically refused to admit that she was
dying.
He fetched first this and that for her in the disparate hope that she
would be better.
“Spock, please don't,” she softly asked of him when he wanted to get yet
another think that he hoped would help her. It was as if her kind words got
something inside him to burst into thousands of pieces. With an agonising sigh
he seated himself by her bedside and took her hand in his.
“What I would not do for more time, ” he softy whispered, knowing it was
an illogical wish but it was true nevertheless. In his eyes love and pain
shinned side by side. She nodded and tears fell down her cheeks. Spock softly
wiped her tears away with his fingers.
“Do not weep, my wife. Please do not weep. I can take everything but
your tears,” Spock said tearfully, fighting against his own tears. She smiled
through the tears and nodded.
“Lay by my side?” She asked weakly. Spock nodded and got into the bed
with her and took her into his arms. Gently he began to rock her from side to
side while he sang a song about unhappy love that she loved. He had a very nice
singing voice. Elina listened to his beautiful voice and she felt like his song
lifted her up and carried her on the gentle wings of poetry and love to a life
far away from here.
“I love you. I love you so much, ” Spock said gently when he painfully
could feel their bond slowly but surly breaking.
“I know. And I love you, too,” she said lovingly. Her voice and eyes
filled with love and happiness because he finally had bean ably to say it out
loud. But her whole body felt weak and soon she could not keep her eyes open
even though she wanted too. Her last sight was of Spock and his eyes filled
with love, pain and unshed tears.
“Sing for me, ” she asked tiredly. And he did. He sung her favourite
song again. The tones became doves of love that gentle took Elina and carried
her to their home in the clouds.
When Spock had finished his song and looked at Elina she lay in his arms
with her eyes closed and a small smile on her lips. So beautiful even in death,
Spock thought. He brought his head to her soft and still warm neck and cried.
Cried as he had never cried before.
Later that day Spock buried her. Her graveside was bathed in sunlight
and she could look down at the lake that shinned like a jewel in the evening
light. On her grave Spock had placed a stone and into it he had written, burned
into it with his weapon:
To my wife who was taken from my side far too
soon.
May my eternal love be a comfort to you in the
unknown until I am by your side again.
He knelt by the grave and cried. Cried for all what could never be.
Cried for the unfairness in life. Cried for the loneliness in his life. Cried
for Elina who would never see the light of day again. Cried for all the ones
who had lost their heart like he had. Cried for all the losses he had suffered
but never been able to cry over before. He cried until he could cry no more.
“I love you. I will always love you and I will always remember you and
our time together. Maybe there is a chance for our love in death since there
was none in life, ” he whispered sadly and the sun bathed him as he kneeled by
large engraved that marked her grave, the light glimmering in his now frozen
tears.
1/2 month later:
The Enterprise’s small shuttlecraft, the Galileo, landed outside Spock's
mountain cabin. Jim and McCoy came out to meet Spock, worry clear on their
faces, most obviously on Jim’s. Spock's face was passive and only Jim could see
the pain in his eyes that from now on would always be there though he knew from
personal experience that the pain would fade with time.
“Where is Elina?” McCoy asked concerned. He had wished to have her in a
hospital, no matter the chances to find her a cure. A always when he was
worried McCoy’s voice took on a hard and almost demanding tone. Only Jim saw
how much pain the mention of her name brought Spock.
“She is dead, Doctor,” Spock said with an almost emotionless voice.
Again only Jim noticed his suffering. McCoy looked shocked at him, sorrow over
having lost another young patient making him lash out in anger.
“What???” He quickly recovered from the shock at having been giving this
news in the same tone of voice as the latest weather report. “And I who thought
you loved her. You are without a doubt the most cold-blooded person I have ever
met!” McCoy said angrily as they went into the shuttle, Jim putting a
comforting hand on Spock’s arm.
“Why, thank you, Doctor McCoy,” Spock said all the while his heart was
breaking even more but there was nothing to do but to move on, try and put it
behind him.
“I am very sorry,” Jim said quietly with understanding and love in his
eyes. Spock looked at his friend. He loved Jim as his best friend and as his
t'hy'la, his soulmate, and knew that Jim felt the same way. Spock nodded
gratefully and said quietly now that McCoy could not hear it, “I am sorry,
too.”
Jim fought the urge to hug his friend and instead used his calming grip
on his arm to guide him into a seat, his hand staying on his shoulder to offer
silent support. He wished that he could take away his friend’s pain. Spock had
suffered enough. He did not deserve this.
“But neither did you,” Spock said gently and referenced to all Jim's our
sorrows. Jim nodded and knew their physical contact and strong mental bond had
enabled Spock to read his thoughts. With one last look at Spock Jim went to the
shuttle’s controls and got ready to lift off, Spock sitting in the chair beside
him. They shared a look that spoke volumes and in that moment they both knew
that despite their sorrows, despite their misfortune they could go on as long
as they had each other to lean on. Sharing a small smile at this knowledge they
broke the stare and Jim stared the shuttle.
Spock looked down on the cabin where he had experienced love and where
he had lost it again. But he would not exchange that time for anything in the
whole galaxy despite the pain he felt now.
He would always carry her love with him in his heart and the sorrow over
losing her in his eyes.
“Goodbye, my wife. Goodbye,” Spock whispered towards the cabin and he
knew that he was not only saying goodbye to Elina but also to his heart. His
heart that he had given to a young woman who did not walk in this world
anymore. A goodbye to his brief experience of happiness. It had all died with
Elina and now lay buried in the warm Vulcan soil with a view out over a lake
that looked like a pearl in the evening sun, a very appreciate comparison in
Spock’s mind for that was what Elina had been to him.